Something worth writing about…

When I was younger I did a lot of things that I no longer understand.  There must have been some thought or logic involved; however, since then, those actions have lost their meaning to me.  I have an entire box of pictures of only feet taken over the course of 2 years.  Why?  No clue.  I’m sure it made sense at the time.

When I was a junior, or at least I think I was a junior… I met a little guy, either a 7th or 8th grader that was just the cutest thing.  I don’t remember how we crossed paths.  I don’t recall why or how we became friends.

I’d love to ask him, as he had a knack for remembering those details, but I can’t.  Yesterday he died of injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident that happened on Sunday night. He was 30 years old.

I want to write about him and our friendship to give light to what an amazing being he was and to explore the concept of REALLY loving someone.

Rob was never Rob to me.  His name was Rob Schmidt, but I knew other Rob’s and this one was just the cutest little skater baby I’d seen.  I called him Lil’ Rob.  I called him Lil’ Rob when he deserved it as a skinny little foofy haired kid on a skateboard, I called him Lil’ Rob when he was a bulked up young guy, and I called him Lil’ Rob when he was taller than me and took on more bulk than hulk.  What is funny about this is that he took it and never once complained.  He took a lot from me over the years.  I even made up this limerick for him.. went something like “Rob, Rob my little heart throb… “

He was the little brother I never had and probably didn’t need.  He was the kid who called me to ask me to take him out for ice cream at every major life event.  I should point out that I always did, even if I had to come from Minneapolis. He always wanted a sundae, butterscotch, and it was over ice cream we talked about everyone and everything in his life.

We talked on the phone, talked via email, talked via text and always… always found odd times and odd places to talk in person.  We both drove a lot to waste an entire night sitting and staring at nothing discussing what needed to be discussed.  We have spent the last however many years talking about stuff.

For those of you who knew him… we talked about you.

I can’t say I spent a lot of time partying with Rob, although, he found lots of time to party over the years.  I can say that I met a lot of the people in his life.  I’m grateful to have met a few more even in his passing.  He was fun, took the time to make you feel important and he was true blue in who he was, what he believed and what he said to you.

He was a guy that could do anything with his hands.  He had an intrinsic knack for all things mechanical or relating to wires.  He was good with parts and tools.  On top of that he had crazy good body awareness that made him an athlete to be reckoned with.  He also had a love for the adrenaline inducing things in life.  Biking, snowboarding, skateboarding, motorcycles, cars, speed, etc.

He was smart to a fault and he was the biggest dumbass I know all at the same time.

He drove me nuts.

Here I am, friends with this amazing individual who is a great friend, loyal to a fault, supportive, caring, and he is somehow oblivious to the fact that he was all of those things.  He’d shrug and shoot you that gimpy little grin that says so clearly, “I’ll humor you, but I think you’re full of shit”.

He struggled with some of the normal things that people in life struggle with.  He excelled in ways that made you annoyed that he struggled with some of those things.

He was a gem.  One of a kind.  A true friend.  The one who always called you right when you were thinking you should really call him.

He was my Lil’ Rob and I loved him… all of him…. the good… the bad.. the ugly and the annoying.  This is where I want to talk about what it is to REALLY love someone as he loved so many of his friends.  Rob never loved someone “even though they.. (insert your own fault)”.  He loved the whole of them.  Loved their faults.  Loved their beauty.  Loved their potential.

He forgave often… if not always freely.  (Can you blame him? Sometimes you just have to be pissed for a while.)  He valued his relationships with his friends.  He cherished them for all of the things that they were and could be.

I tried to learn that from him.

I was proud of him.

Our relationship was often more like a big sis/little bro kind of a thing but I looked up to him when I wasn’t standing on a stair or telling him to safen up.  (that little shit got tall!)

I wish I could call everyone he loved and tell them what he really thought of them.  What he had to say about break-ups, heartache and victories.  I wonder if he told them as much as he told me.  I hope so.

I also wonder if anything I ever said to him about when he was being dumb sunk in.  It would be nice to get a little satisfaction of knowing what I said might have made a difference when it counted.  But I’m sure that’s just because I like to be right.  There’s no way in hell I’d ever get the “you were right” call from him.

I can respect that.  I wasn’t calling him to say that either.

While I’m not surprised that he has passed too soon and left us all furious that he is gone already, I am still shocked at this profound loss in my life.

I am grieving the loss of him in a very sobbing snot nosed girly kind of way and I can hear him laughing at me and asking if I wanted a beer or something.

The answer is yes… yes I would really like a beer or something

…and maybe a chance to talk about it…