Closing the door on this year.

Highlights… Lowlights…

Here are the top 10 things I love and will love to leave behind from 2008.

1-  Love it – Fred.  I think I’ll keep him.

2-  Leave it – The current administration.  Buh bye Bush.

3-  Love it – My job.  You’ll have to pry me away from it kicking and screaming while on my death bed.

4-  Leave it – Increasing debt.  I’m all about decreasing it moving forward.

5- Love it -  New found physical strength.  Today I did lunges for a while.  6 months ago my knees hurt so badly that it was nearly impossible.

6-  Leave it -  Toxic relationships with my neighbors.  I think I have finally found a headspace where I don’t want to spit each time I see some of my neighbors.

7-  Love it- Simplified life.  Earlier this year I got rid of tons of stuff.  Clothing, items, junk, garbage, paper and on and on and on…it was the best decision I’ve made in YEARS.

8-  Leave it-  Doggie Diarrhea.  Nuf Sed.

9- Love it – New rock star skis.

10 – Leave it – Ah heck… I have more love it than leave it…

I LOVE my “new to me” car.  I’ll keep it.

Blog Stat Glory… for now.

This is the first month that I’ve had 100 views on the blog.  That’s kind of rock star for me.  I’ve been on the steady up and up for a couple of months now and am starting to think that it’s possible that things will have a downturn again.

I will brace myself for it.

Either way, this is just to say “Hey, thanks for reading the stuff I have to say.”  I hope you’re intelligence has not be atrophying as a result.

If so… it is SUPER not my fault.

Says me.

S.

Holiday Greeting without the Card.

So here we are a year later and it’s once again time for the deluge of holiday greetings.

I still love getting and reading them.   Here is my tree friendly cost effective contribution.

This year I went to Arizona, my dad went to Arizona, Matt went to Arizona, Matt and I came back, the whole family went to Mexico, some of the family skied a lot, part of the family went to Alaska, grandma went back to North Dakota,  I grew tomatoes, and then the whole family ate them.  I went to Arizona again, then grandma did and then then dad.  Dad and I both came back.  Only dad is sorry.

I worked, Matt worked, MacKenzie tried not to work and dad blatantly avoided work.

My dog barked, dad’s dog did not bark, both dogs are dying and we are all kind of sad about it.

Matt bought a house, dad helped him destroy it, I steered clear.  Matt and dad tried to put the house back together, I, yet again, steered clear.  MacKenzie put up with the mess.

I bought a new used car, Matt bought a new used car, dad continues to shop for a new used car, Fred would like a new used car and thankfully, MacKenzie is still too  young to drive.  He appears to be content with video game systems.  (Whew.)

He dressed up as Stephen Corbert for Halloween.  You start to worry about him growing up too fast when that is his idea of a great Halloween.

Dad turned 60.  He did grow up too fast.  Nearly everyone showed up to celebrate and mock him and we all ate too much and drank just enough.

Grandma came for Christmas and is most likely regretting it.  (Wouldn’t you?  It’s frakkin cold out!!!)

I’m dating, Matt’s dating, dad is weirded out by dating and MacKenzie is still not thinking about dating.  (Again… whew.)

I like that Fred guy.  I think I’m going to continue on with that dating thing a while longer.

So my wrap up of 2008?

Well, I had hoped that it would bring positive change when it came to mourning my mother.  I can now pretty confidently say, nope.

Still stinks.

Still don’t like it.

Still missing her in huge ways that make me feel like I’m choking.

We all still well up while speaking of her.  We all still have a million things we wish we could share with her, ask her, show her , experience with her.

We are just now starting to admit how wrecked we are without her, so maybe it will be better in 2009.

It would appear to me that we are starting to move forward again in life.  Starting to look forward, instead of just trying to breathe.

I would say that we are making progress.

We are healthy.  We are together.  We’re building our lives for ourselves.  We are heading in the right direction…

I hope.

S.

The update on da Dawg…

The dog has been a frequently reoccurring topic in this blog thing.  Partially because he is around me 24 hours a day, and partially because I swing between loving and enjoying him, and loving him and totally worrying about him… with a few spatterings of wishing he would just die already mixed in.

He’s been through the trial of bland dog food to prevent his Jackson Pollock like moments of grossness and I am glad to say that the change of diet was effective.  Sadly it was also going to cost me about $45 every two weeks to feed him this prescription bland diet.   My first attempt at trying to find a similar product that is more cost effective has resulted in one day of him being sick again.  I’ll be revisiting the store again today for try 2 on cheaper bland diet.

My heart goes out to him each time he struggles to get up the stairs and it breaks a little every time he wipes out on the ice…

but that is part of the picture.  He is wiping out on the ice because he is running, playing, making puppy snow angels and overall acting like a happy normal dog.    He full on jams his head into snow banks.  He LOVES the snow.

I’m going to postpone this decision of what to do with him for another few weeks. I struggle with whether I’m being selfish or if I’m letting him live a good life.  I have no idea what I’m doing.

To make matters worse I actually put a ribbon around his neck and made him pose by the Christmas Tree in my living room so I could take pictures.

If he could talk, he would have Bah Humbug’d me for sure.   Baxter, if you read this, I am SO sorry I degraded you with that satin ribbon.  You deserve better from me.

and that… is what I have to say about that.

S.

Thank you Kato Auto Glass driver.

This is a thank you to the Kato Auto Glass employee who, while out driving irresponsibly on icy roads, did not kill my dad today.

I appreciate that you swerved and missed my dad while driving too fast for the conditions on Hwy 14 today.  It’s a little unfortunate that you were glaring at him as you passed, as shortly thereafter you plowed into a many car pile up at 40 miles per hour.

Hopefully those folks are all okay.

I guess I did not realize that it was in the fashion to pretend your front wheel drive truck with poor handling is a bowling ball, and that the cars who had minor fender benders and were stopped are your pins.  Hey… 7 or 8 out of 12 is really not that bad of a score now is it?

Guess that must have also delayed you getting to where you were going in such a hurry to begin with.   Ouch.

Regardless, thank you so much for not orphaning me today by killing my dad in my already dead mother’s car.

That might have potentially ruined Christmas.

Sincerely,

Me.

Baby it’s cold outside…

and for some reason, everyone is freaking the heck out.

Not me.  Minnesota is cold, but has not been HUGELY cold for more than a few days a year for the majority of my adult life.  This is one of those cold days, and this too will pass.

Rather than complaining, maybe we can all start using these days as an excuse to give ourselves permission to stay in for a day/night.  Cuddle under a down throw with the loved one of their choice, or by ourselves to just get centered.

I went out to a meeting, nearly rear ended a neighbor, and then had a laugh with her about it rather than getting snitty.   I’m glad I slid into the next lane next to her in a semi-controlled fashion, rolled down the window and said while laughing, “Appears to be a little icy.”   It gave us the chance to laugh about something that could have been horrible and relieved the adrenaline that was rushing through me. I REALLY did not want to rear end my neighbor.

After the meeting I came home and worked out.   Now bear in mind I wasn’t working out to get fit, I just am too cheap to put the heat over 63 degrees and I was aiming for natural warm up.

Tis the season for long underwear.  I’m personally a fan of both polypropalene and silk long underwear.  Silk doesn’t bulk up under clothes and the poly is just so dang warm.

I’ve taken out the smart wool socks and am wearing them religiously.

I’m drinking hot tea and eating apples like they are going out of fashion.

I’m cuddling with the dog, as Fred is gone and the dog is toasty.  (Fred generally smells better… don’t nark me out to Baxter for saying so.)

I’m enjoying blue skies and sunshine.

I’m not going to complain about our cold snap.

Have you found an excuse to hibernate today?

Says me.

S.

Update on my BlackBerry Storm

So I have this new technogadgetry that sidelines as my one and only phone and here is my week one review.

While I’m loving my email all in one place where I don’t have to be seated at my computer, I’m finding that it takes FOREVER for me to dial the dang thing to call out.

I don’t find it to be terribly intuitive, although Fred thinks it must be an end user issue.  (ha ha)

Living in MN means that the phone is often in cold weather, and the touch screen is not so hot with cold fingers.

It’s bigger than I want to carry in my pocket, so that is annoying, but I’m loving the big clear screen, especially for the web browsing.

For the way I use my phone, this isn’t maybe the best solution for me.  I need to keep my data private for work, but having to enter a big long password each time I pick up the phone is making me a bit nuts.   Also, I haven’t figured out how to make the thing ring when it’s in it’s little case… add that I’m charging it twice a day and I’m about ready to ship it back.

Daddoo… oh daddooo…

you are old as dirt.

Says me.

S.

Freaking the Heck Out Gauge.

I’m not always aware that I am on the brink of freaking the heck out.  It seems like I should see it coming, or be somehow conscious of it’s buildup.  Others can plainly see it apparently.

I, however,  remain in the dark til it’s too late and I need to apologize.

I want a gauge that shows the level of Freaking the Heck Out buildup so that I can monitor it’s daily progress and adjust accordingly.  I want to prevent blowing up and being utterly surprised that I’m at that point.  I want to have a heads up that I’m walking on thin ice emotionally.

I want a system that will show me where I’m at, and maybe offer suggestions of what to do to lower the level.  I’d like to check it 3 times a day to see if I should be avoiding touchy situations for fear of my responding at a level not proportionate to the conversation.

If I were to suffer from high blood pressure or high cholesterol levels there would medication, or change in diet and exercise.  There are tests to show what your levels are so you’re aware if you need to go buy more Cheerios, or take an aspirin.  My father has this amazing doodad that checks his blood pressure via his wrist in about 5 seconds… and tracks his levels on a chart so he knows how it compares to the last time he sat down and crossed his heart for science.  Diabetics know when to drink juice from an ever shrinking finger stabber.

Is there a Freaking the Heck Out -ometer?  I’m thinking not.

But there should be.

A meter that would help me avoid getting completely yelling upset at my dad for offering advice on how to do my job.  I’m nearly thirtyf…. cough… I’m over 30 and I still have not figured out how to keep him from digging under my skin until I want to run to the furthest reaches of the universe to be rid of him.  I love my dad.  He’s loving, fun and brilliant and sometimes totally unaware that he is offering advice that is unneeded, unappreciated and at times condescending.  It’s not a new thing.  You’d think I’d have adjusted by now.  Nope.  I lost it in the car last night and needed a 20 minute time out before I could hit my next appointment with a clear head.

Was my response to his insensitive response warranted?

Um… yeah.. that would be a resounding NO.

I had reached the level of Freaking the Heck Out before I even knew I was heading that way.

Last Friday I had a conversation with someone I care about who had a legitimate question about something I had communicated to him.  I freaked the heck out within minutes.

Really.

You techno geeks out there… please get on this.  I’m not sure how long people are going to keep accepting my apologies for being stretched too thin again… or still… or always.

Says me.

Sarah

New Toys.

Today is the day that my new Blackberry Storm is set to arrive via Fed Ex.

I’ve never never had the newest fanciest anything as I’m a huge fan of the best value for the money rather than the name brand or the newest whatever.   The closest I’ve ever come to a “new car” had 60k miles on it when it came to me.  My “new skis” are last year’s model.

I’m also a fan of letting the new guys work out the kinks before adopting their technology.

This would explain why it took me AGES to get a DVD player, I never bought a CD till I was in college, my first MP3 player happened last year and I still don’t have a video game system. My stereo is circa 1997.  I’ve still never actually purchased a TV.

Grandma likes to say she’s being “a little scotch” when she gets cheap about buying the good bacon.  I think it’s fair to say I can be a little scotch.  (Fred laughs at the things I get cheap about.  I’m cheap about food, which baffles him.  That’s a whole different post.)

It’s a new era.  I have a new phone.  First touchscreen Blackberry ever.  Newest of the new.  It’s coming to me since it was a reasonable price for the upgrade I was planning on making already… and then they called to upgrade even more for the same price I was planning to pay for the step down model.  I said yes to touch screen.  Yes to real web browsing.  I said yes to the possibility of sending some orders through my PHONE!

When mom and dad had the party barge boat we went to a few boat shows at the convention center.  Mom and I would climb on these huge fancy boats and sniff around a little muttering things like…

“well this might be an upgrade”.

So, as I say goodbye to the smart phone that has done nothing but annoy me for the last year I will take a few minutes to be frustrated with myself for disposing of technology so quickly and adding to the environmental mess we have created with our disposable lifestyle… and then I will do my best to honor my mother with an upgrade comment…

and then I will spend the rest of today learning how to use the thing rather than finishing my laundry, dusting, cleaning the kitchen, tackling my office or decorating for Christmas.

We should be taking bets on whether or not I’ve sent it back by the end of the trial period.

Says me.

S.