If not the boss…

There seems to be an ebb and flow to life.  Times when you feel like you are driving ahead… eyes on the road and around… alert.. awake… proactively navigating.. defensive driving.

I have not felt that way in a very long time.  I feel like I am on an express bus, crammed in with too many passengers and not enough space to stretch my legs.   I am following the bus… at the will of the driver, the traffic, the road conditions, construction.

As of late I often find myself wondering how to get back the sense that I have a say, a voice in the direction at least.

Part of me wonders if naivety had played a part in my former world outlook and attitude… clouding the reality to give illusion of being in charge of at least some things.

I am well beyond the point in life where I can think that I have control over anything…

but I am striving to find a way to still have somewhat of a say.  I want my vote back.

S.