I have not felt that way in a very long time.  I feel like I am on an express bus, crammed in with too many passengers and not enough space to stretch my legs.   I am following the bus… at the will of the driver, the traffic, the road conditions, construction.

As of late I often find myself wondering how to get back the sense that I have a say, a voice in the direction at least.

Part of me wonders if naivety had played a part in my former world outlook and attitude… clouding the reality to give illusion of being in charge of at least some things.

I am well beyond the point in life where I can think that I have control over anything…

but I am striving to find a way to still have somewhat of a say.  I want my vote back.

S.

It’s hard to believe that my dog has been gone for nearly 10 months now.  While I have stopped looking for him when I get back to the house, I am still finding his hair everywhere.   Dad thought I would be relieved he was gone, but mostly I’m just wondering where all the time goes.

Says me.

Luckily it was a non-event… So maybe I will do it again before next August.

I am enjoying my life.  Music has been great to me lately, I have taken some time to read and to play, I am working, I am loving, and I am loved.

All is well with me despite all that is wrong in the world.

S.

Day 1 – June 30th:

I flew in later than we had planned so I could get my very exciting travel voucher that spells vacationing opportunity for little old me.  Because of that, we didn’t get very far in our driving out of Anchorage and decided to camp in Girdwood, just about 40 miles down the Seward Highway at Alyeska Resort.  One of the chalets there has a parking lot with a view so we parked there.  It was my latest night up and never really got past dusky on the dark scale.  I was pretty excited to be there.

Day 2 – July 1st:

We hung in Girdwood to get some laundry done at a nice little laundry/shower facility.  Blaine slept in my sleeping bag for 18 days or something, and then Matt another 14… it seemed a good idea to maybe rinse out some stink.  From there we continued down the Seward highway following the Turnagain passage to go see Portage Glacier at the entrance to the tunnel that leads to Whittier.  We like this little Portage Valley and spend some more time here later on in my trip.  After a few photo opportunities where you can see ice floats in the water, we hit the road down to the Russian River Campground where we meet up with John and Connie.  A little stroll around to see this crazy combat fishing they talk about, some dinner and we hit the sack early to be up for fishing by 4am the next day.

Day 3- July 2nd:

We are all up at the crack of dawn.  Dad and John head down to the river and I get to work.  I would like to say that while I appreciate the amazing technology available… the internet through my phone in the middle of nowhere is SLOW.  The day is a little pokey after such an early start, but somewhere in the afternoon we get moving enough to hike out to the Russian River falls where I get to see my first bear.  In the falls below us was a grizzly just leisurely snacking on fish and putting on a show for us.  When bears have abundant supplies of fish they generally only snack on the bellies and the roe, tossing the rest aside and reaching in for the next victim.  You could see hundreds of fish pooled around in that part of the falls getting ready to make their leaps to spawning grounds.  I was glad to see there bear there rather than near the toilets where they so kindly have a sign warning you about them.  It’s not encouraging.  On this night I have my first experience of showering in what equates to a shoe box and it was wonderful.

Day 4 – July 3rd:

Camping reservations at the Russian River can only be done in 3 day stretches and you have to make each reservation individually, so it was our time to move from this great little spot on to our next adventure.  We hit the road north, stopping in Anchorage for supplies and then move on down the road to Wasilla, where Governor Sarah Palin lives.  She must have heard that I was coming and resigned out of respect for this rep of the lower 48.  Oddly enough, the Alaskans we met don’t much care for her.  I wish her well in her next endeavor and I will venture to guess she might be working towards a career as a talk show host.    That evening we stay at the Willow Creek campground north of Wasilla and south of Denali.  It’s a king fishing river spot; however, fishing was already done for the season, unless you were going for trout.  When we went down to see the river we could still see Salmon jumping out of the water.   Having been to Aslaska before, I was aware of how diverse the landscape is, yet it is still a little amazing at how different two rivers can be in such a short distance.  Alaska has a program where there are life jackets for children at every boat landing.   They should also have little dumping grounds for moose who apparently like to drop their business where humans hang out.  I didn’t get to see a moose at this spot, although it was very apparent they were around.  Perhaps all of the ruckus 4th of July campers were keeping them at bay.  I know they were keeping us awake, but it was still a great night for a campfire.

Day 5 – July 4th:

It’s kind of neat to spend the 4th of July in a state celebrating 50 years of statehood this year.  Sadly, there were forest fires burning in a few different areas and so fire warnings were at a high and most fireworks forbidden.  We took the day to see Talkeetna, although we missed the parade.  It’s a little tourist zone with many historic buildings.  It’s hard to explain how Alaska is different than the lower 48… but I’ll try.  It’s one of the biggest days of the year for tourism in Talkeetna.  They have fairs and vendors and everyone is putting on their best face for the tourists pouring in from the cruise ship buses… all save for the people in the historical society building/exhibit… they were at lunch… and the buildings locked up tight.  From there we stop at Sheep’s Creek campground to check it out.  John had never fished there, but had heard about it, so we stopped in and looked for a campsite.  It was a little odd to be tucked into the woods with some flag waving patriots… of a kind I didn’t relate to… and we ended up moving on, although the creek itself was pleasant.

In Alaska you use the Milepost to get around.   It’s a big book listing all of the places to camp, things to see and resources available for all of the state.  It’s a must have for anyone driving around while there.   To remember all the things you should, one often makes notes in the margins of what was good bad, which washing machines are broken, who has a flushing toilet.    My mom had used the copy my dad hauls around with him and had made a note about a really nice rest stop, so I directed us in there to see if we could camp there for the night.  I swear… it was like the rest stop that time forgot.  While the biffers had toilet paper in them and were not severly underserviced, all of the areas with picnic tables and fire pits were completely grown over with weeds taller than me.  There was a note about an educational board in the book, which you couldn’t get to as it was so overgrown with weeks and underbrush.  No cars came in, no cars came out, we were all alone about 20 yards off the highway.  Of course we camped there… Stephen King creepies be damned.

Day 6 – July 5th:

To Denali!!!

You know what?  This is getting really long…

let’s take a break and I’ll get back to you with the next installment in a few days.

Says me.

S.

The 5.5 hour flight was completely and totally booked… and I was sitting in the middle seat of a tiny row at the back of the plane.

Bummer.

I mean, seriously…

bummer.

While making my way through the airport I was thinking about my mom and her knack for taking bumps for travel vouchers and I made up my mind to volunteer as soon as I got to the gate.

Score.  I’m now pretty tired of being at the airport; however, I now have a $300 travel voucher, I’m only about 3.5 hours later in my arrival and I’m even in an aisle seat for my flight.

What’s better?

Since I was the first volunteer I got on the next direct flight to Anchorage, and those who volunteered after me are all having to change planes in Fairbanks.

I keep thinking about how much my time is worth to me and when I do the math it looks a bit like a 3 hour delay for $300 in travel makes me worth just under $100 an hour.

Overall I think I’m coming out ahead, but that’s due in part to also thinking that I’m a little closer to my mother today.  She sure did love a deal.

Thanks for the tips mom!

Says me,

S.

A fluke is a fluke is a fluke is a fluke.

S.

I ask too much and want to talk about it when it’s none of my business or maybe doesn’t matter in the least.  I’m annoying that way.  I will talk something to death trying to figure stuff out because…

well… I always want to know.

Something changed in my life this month and I have no idea what precipitated it.

Maybe this is going to be the first time in my life when I don’t need to know what happened or why…

I’m just really glad it did.

Says me,

who doesn’t know it all today.

S.

What I’m not looking forward to is coming back and having just a few days to finish preparations for heading to Alaska.  Who was I kidding about 3 days being enough time to get ready to roll for 2 weeks?

I must not be all that bright in general.  Today I had a list a mile long of things to do before I left town for the week, and I am still trying to check them off one by one.  So many tasks… so little time.  Who mows the lawn at 8:30 at night?  Yeah… that would be me.  Who starts a panic load of laundry at 10:30 at night?  That would also be me.

Somehow through all of this prep, plan, work and packing I’ve also managed to see a little softball, play with the dog, cook a few meals, get through 2 or 3 meetings and miss the UPS guy by about 10 minutes.

I really need to learn how to be less of a procrastinator.

Says me.

S.

Yesterday I got my haircut… and I survived.

Whew.

S.